The Gunslinger

The Gunslinger (The Dark Tower, #1)The Gunslinger (The Dark Tower #1) by Stephen King

1 star

“Beyond the reach of human range
A drop of hell, a touch of strang
e” 

I cannot review this book because I have no idea what I just read. HOWEVER, I have heard good things about the series as a whole…so I might give t

he next book another try…like when I feel an itch to read something pretty obscure.

Feel free to inform me on anything that I missed, but here’s a rough summary, Some spoilers may be included:

The gunslinger is on this mission to find the Man in Black to find some Dark Tower. He’s traveling in a desert following his trail, he finds a boy they keep going over the desert and they go through a mountain. There’s a shooting in a town and some weird mountain creatures that make the book almost exciting. There are some flashbacks that give some semblance to who the gunslinger is. This is what I got from that. 1. he was raised to be a gunslinger, 2. his dad was royalty? 3. girls want his wiener a lot.

I’m not going to cover what actually happens at the end, because I don’t understand what even happened at the end–some sort of reenactment of the first verses of Genesis? “Let there be light”

I am truly so confused.

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Boomerang Boyfriend

36054598Boomerang Boyfriend by Chris Cannon

1 Star

ARC from Netgalley for an honest review…So, I normally like to get my ARC reviews out before the release…but oops >_<

Delia has been best friends with Zoe for forever. With both parents constantly working odd hours she has practically grown up at Zoe’s house, making Zoe’s family basically her family. That is, until suddenly, Zoe’s jerky older brother Jack isn’t so jerky. Boomerang Boyfriend uses the I-like-my-best-friend’s-brother trope…and beats it with a stick. That’s it, that’s literally the story.

The Story-So I usually am okay with cliche story lines, as long as they are done well. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough going on in this story to bring in some stars on my rating. The story bounced between both Delia & Jack’s POV, and even that didn’t add much depth to the story.

“My life would be so much easier if I liked someone who wasn’t my best friend’s brother. Or if he didn’t like me. And who knows? Maybe he didn’t.”

“Holding her like this felt oddly comfortable. I realized if I leaned down just a little bit, I’d be in the perfect position to kiss her. Wait. Where is that thought coming from? I needed to snap back to reality.

Now rewrite this a few different times, alternate the points of view, throw in a lot of doggy scenes & MINOR just-a-friend drama and you have the book.

In between all that there was a lot of inconsequential filler such as

The Characters– All the characters seemed fairly believable and it was nice to just have normal characters. Everyone had their own issues going on, however, it wasn’t used as a major driving factor as a character trait. Unfortunately, no one had any memorable personalities either. What I came out of thinking was that Jack’s best friend Trevor’s family are really irresponsible dog owners (they constantly left out food when the dog was notorious for getting into, eating, then pooping/vomiting snacks)

The Connection-I think this book would have been a lot better if it was told from just one point of view. For me with a YA romance the biggest factor besides actual plot/characters is the part that makes my heart feel like its being wrung out. Reading about how rational both characters were with dealing with their feelings sadly ruined it for me. There were no moments of miscommunication or confusion that I didn’t instantly know the other side, letting me know that it will probably get worked out.

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The Rules of Persuasion

The Rules of PersuasionThe Rules of Persuasion by Amity Hope

1 star

ARC received from Netgalley for a fair review.

The Story-The Rules of Persuasion was 95% predictable, but 100% full of angsty cuteness. Honestly, if you have read any YA contemporary where a boy or girl get’s someone to be their fake boyfriend or girlfriend then you have read this book. The only the thing that is different is the circumstances surrounding the initiation of fake relationship. This review may contain what is considered spoilers, but honestly I think everything I write in here should be entirely expected….so I’m not going to mark it all spoiler. Let’s review this trope recipe:

-someone needs a favor/blackmails
-they actually run in different circles/don’t like each other
-they write down all the rules
-the rules doesn’t stop them for getting a dose of the feels
-shit is going to hit the fan right

Well, you get the idea….

The Characters
Meg-Somehow this girl was supposed to be a girl that wasn’t like other girls. But let’s face it, she was just your average girl, minus her family issues, not some crazy special snowflake. The downside is, that she is sort of a forgettable character. I just finished hours of reading about her and this is what I know:
-she likes to wear high heeled boots that click clack, preferably in black.
-she has two friends, but she only really hangs out with them in school…except to get ready for a date..
-she’s not really into anything in particular…….like really, what are her interests? Sure she watches black and white movies…on rainy days…she likes the beach because of her sister…she graffiti’s because of her sister…in fact she wears black because of her sister… She wants to be a counselor, why? Because she got good counseling…after what happened to her sister. Don’t get me wrong, that’s great and all. But who is this chick? I don’t know, I hardly remember her.

Luke-What can I really say? This is a contemporary YA novel. Let’s hit every cliché thing that accurately describes Luke:
-he’s rich, but wants nothing to do with his family
-he’s good looking
-he’s good at sports too
-he’s also smart – party because he has to study hard for his family
-he has an ex gf who’s a heinous bitch.
-You know what else? He’s got dimples & smirks a lot. That’s right. He was smirking within 2% of the book. I almost decided to keep count of all the times his smirkiness was mentioned….but it got old really fast. Let’s be completely real, if someone smirked at you that much you would be sort of weirded out right?

The Connection-Despite the book being cute, it wasn’t entirely relatable. I understand the need for these kids to act out in their own way but there were a few things that just plain bothered me. The biggest part was how the rich kid was somehow supposed to feel bad for being rich. Like I’m sorry that you had to move from a house where you had a walk in closet at one point. Also, not everyone has parents that allow them to commandeer their old motorcycles… there is something that really irks me when a character bashes another one about being rich, like somehow that makes them a bad person. You know what that makes them? Rich. It shouldn’t be used as a way to make the poorer character seem like a better person.

I’m sorry for all the lists in this review. It was sort of unavoidable to do while pointing out everything. Now if you’ve never read a fake bf/gf book before, it could all be fresh for you and you might like it. Unfortunately, this book didn’t have enough spin to it to make me actually like it that much.

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Stealing Candy

Stealing Candy by Stewart Lewis

Publish date: May 2, 2017

Received an ARC from SOURCEBOOKS Fire via Netgalley for a fair review.

1 star


“I should be freaking out. Crying or shaking like before, or screaming for help. I’m being kidnapped. The wild thing is, my heart is not only pounding with fear, but also with a twisted freedom.”

 

To say this book was awful would be an overstatement. To say it was good would, again, be an overstatement. As a YA contemporary with coming of age & romantic themes it falls into the I can read this easily in a day or two category. Unfortunately, the actual content seemed absurd to subject to a YA audience. This book paints a romance and justification through Stockholm Syndrome.

Stealing Candy is about a rock star’s daughter, Candy, being kidnapped outside of her school. Right away she notices that only one of her captors is a psychotic druggie (she calls him “Cancer Stick”) while the other is an attractive young man who doesn’t tend to be as violent (she calls him “Half Smile”). In the duration of her kidnapping Candy learns about the reasons behind her kidnapping and starts to just go along with it.

***Spoilers from this point on.***


Okay, WHAT THE FREAKING HECK. This chick is so dumb. Before she even gets to the whole “swooning over half smile kid” she has plenty of opportunities to run away from the people who are kidnapping her. Screw the fact that only one of the guys beat her over her head and duct taped her and shoved her into the back of a junky Toyota. Here’s the facts- it was Half Smile’s idea in the freaking first place! I know, I know. She lived a sheltered life and has her daddy issues to top all of this. But really? Hi, yeah, I got kidnapped…2 hours in I decided it felt like an adventure. WHAT THE F!? This entire time you are running all the scenarios from movies of kidnappings.
So not only does Candy screw her few opportunities to escape from her captors, but she totally falls for one of them. So within reason, with SS typically there could be a traumatizing situation (kidnapping/rough captor) followed by someone who is gentle (half smile is nice to her). I don’t see how that constitutes having sex with the guy like2 (I think? I wasn’t exactly counting) days later.

So here’s the few reasons why I hate Candy, and have zero sympathy for her crazy ass:
1. She talks about her classmates in shallow and cliché categories: The Borings, Max the Goth
2. She bitches about her dad, all the while living off the cushy living he provides for her (typical teen)
3. She thinks getting kidnapped is an adventure ( I STILL CANT GET OVER THIS)
4. She has sex with a captor, who also has a girlfriend that she’s aware of, and doesn’t feel any remorse for her action
5. At the end, after time being apart from Half Smile she still decides to go back to him. Like shit girl, meet a new guy! If he wanted you around, he would have emailed more in year since you had seen him…
6. We are somehow given a personality with her because she’s super into film, and all I could think of was that scene in American Beauty with the floating trash bag.

Okay so Half Smile. The entire reason why he does all this was to get his dad some retribution. 1 million dollars from the guy who framed him – Candy’s dad. So after finding out about the framing and not receiving the payout. He decides to save a ton of money to drive up the Eastern seaboard kidnap a girl and spend all that money driving back down to Florida to a concert where her dad is playing so she can be used for ransom….How he was going to complete final task he hadn’t planned out. Just took all the time to save enough money from mowing lawns to make this trip (I mean, that’s a lot of time saving money…how had he not thought it through?!) Also, towards the end, they end up just letting a detective know that it was this famous rock star not Half Smile’s dad and of course he looks into it because dang it’s this famous rock star! This kid is dumb too.

Moral of the story kids? Don’t be scared or try to escape if you’re kidnapped? They might have some reason for the awful act, and they might be the love of your life….

So many nopes.

-Scrill